Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Sudoku and Megapixels

Damn Sudoku.
Tried it Saturday - got myself a little book with selected Sukoku puzzles.
So off I went with the "mild" ones.
After a few tries, I solved 2 in 20 minutes each, which was a new personal best.
So, cocky by now, I went on to the "medium" level.
Hit a wall. Damn, whatdaheck - this is difficult. You're supposed to be psychic to be able to do the "medium-level" - thereof the name I guess...

Steve is bragging about his new work mobile phone that he's getting.
Its a Nokia. "Schwisch Schwisch Megapixel" "Schwisch Schwisch Megapixel"
That's his impersonation of a Nokia phone apparently.
-"It's got 9 megapixels"
-"No darling, I think not"
- "Yes 9 megapixels and tv and video and its a scanner and phone in one"
- "And I guess its a shaver as well"
- "Yes, and a hob. But you have to disable the hob-function before you can use the phone-function otherwise you'll burn your face..."
-"Right..."
-"Schwisch Schwisch Megapixel"

Meanwhile, back in the real-world, some of us are getting into Ball-mode.
Have got a hairdresser appointment on Saturday at 1pm, and will get my hair put up in a lovely way I hope. Want some curls and lovely pins and stuff.
Apparently the dinner starts at 7pm, then its Scottish dancing and after that the disco begins...Dancing Queen- that will be me.

Got all my Xmas Pressies and theyre all wrapped. Just need to send them off to Sweden and post a few cards. Apart from that, bring on the Santa, I am prepared.

Hopefully going to Ed's in Bluewater on Sunday to have this months well-deserved milkshake. They're made in heaven. That is, if I am still awake after dancing the night away at Sandhurst.

Hugs from me.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Frozen

Helllllooooo *brrr*
Everything is white with frost outside. Bloody freezing. The heating is on full blast and thank god, it seems to be working this year.

Its Wednesday and I'm off to work in a minute or two.

Went to Bluewater on Sunday and found a gorgeous blue dress that I'll wear to the ball, together with some glitzy heels and a lovely little fluffy shrug thing. Can't wait til next weekend. Steve is having his dinner jacket fitted tomorrow morning.

Need to do some serious christmas shopping.
I've only got my mum something...

In the evenings we are doing research on local Wickford guys who died during WW1. We've got hold of some really old newspapers from 1914-1919 which we are ploughing through for information. Amazing what you can find. We've already found photos of 6 of the guys.
Among with other exciting news like:

"Man held up at gunpoint. A two-barrelled shotgun was pointed in his face and the gunman said: - Hands up!"
I mean...who says that shit nowadays? Can you imagine, someone out of So Solid Crew going: "Hands up". Ehm, no.

"Wickford Market News. Poultry 12 shillings. Eggs 2 shillings. A cow £55."

"A young lady was standing on the corner of Southend Road when two dogs started playing next to her. They then ran towards her and knocked her over. She fell and broke her ankle."

I wish the news were that innocent now as well, although I should be grateful not to have to go through the newspapers looking for news about my loved ones being wounded or killed in that war. They were so young. So the least we can do is try to write a bit about them and put a face to a story. We are going to donate the research as a little booklet to the British Royal Legion.

Now off and away for another lovely day!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Belle of the ball

I am sooo happy! For the first time in my life I am actually going to a ball!
Never went to the prom, never got asked by a guy to a ball, never got to wear a flashy dress and shine for a night...
But now I come back with a vengeance! The 10th of December I am going to a Christmas Ball at Sandhurst, for the Officers Passing Out! Whoopie Doo!
My friend Sarah asked if me and Steve wanted to go, and we said YES PLEASE!! Imagine gliding around with lots of handsome men and women, dressed up to their teeth!

So all I need now is a dress that will make the officers jaws drop to the floor! Haha.
Or at least Steve's, that will do just fine for me.

Going shopping at some point to get myself a lovely little number and some shoes to match.
Steve is going to be measured for a dinner jacket and woohoo, I can't wait!

I will smuggle a little digital camera with me and post some handsome chappies on here for the girlies!

Apart from that, lots of work this week. Need to get some food shopping done as well, as a woman can't live on porridge alone.

So till next time....chalalllaaaaallaaallalaaaaa, I will be happily singing and dreaming about the ball!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

First cold morning

Yep, the Winter has arrived. Coooold but nice.
Took a walk yesterday afternoon along the River Crouch and it was just so amazingly beautiful and crisp in the air. When the sun set the colours shifted from blue to pink to orange to deep orange and I had to stop to take a deep breath, smile and then walk on. Its the most wonderful walk with sailing boats resting on the river bank, seagulls and ducks, fields on either side and you can walk as far as you want. The dogs mainly interested in hunting for small chihuahuas...

Love the cold (at least when I'm dressed...not just getting out of bed as that is a nightmare...brrr) and wander round in my big, bear-coat that I got in Sweden. And my woolly boots of course.

Tuesday today. Busy at work. Got invited to Ross & Lorraine's for Christmas. Sounds lovely. 4 crazy dogs with tinsel in their ears, Lola being showered in baby gifts and trees and food and candles and games and sloegin and just looooove Christmas! So I look forward to that no end.

Off to work in a minute. Just need to take the crazy mutts out for a last "business-trip".

Bye bye

Friday, November 11, 2005

That's how you see the world

Coldplay in Stockholm, two days before my birthday, ooooh it was gorgeous.
Travelled last Saturday to Nykoping and stayed at my sisters for the weekend. Had a great time. Managed to buy two huge winterjackets, that I somehow managed to squeeze into my bags. 3,5 hours away from my sister isn't bad. Feel happier now!

29 years old and feeling great. I've been in a really good mood the last few days and today being Friday, well that's certainly helping! Cinema tonight probably and tomorrow I've got two friends coming down from London that I haven't seen in a loooong time. Emma & Sofie, get here now! We've got so much to catch up on.

Went to Matalan yesterday and spent a small fortune on housy-things. Got a lovely fluffy soft throw for our sofa and some cushions to go with it. Mmmm...soooo soft and cosy. Plus got new plates and new cups and new glasses and a new duvet for us. Lovely.

Got physio today. Hopefully this might be the last time.
Gotta get to the bank and dry-clean before that and then back here for work. Enjoying webdesign all of a sudden, its nice to have a chance once in a while.

Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you...

Love you sis! Hope you feel better soon.
x

Monday, October 31, 2005

Hallow Evening

Feel great after a nice weekend, felt like I've managed to cram loads in.
Fridag night was great, loads of dancing (like John Travolta if I do say so myself...) and beers, then finished the night at Sarah's with a kebab. Becoming a bit of a traditions I think.
Great night anyway and the band was fantastic. Especially when they played Supersticious and Freak Out. We went nuts on the dancefloor. No wonder my legs are aching today.

Saturday we spend working on the house, putting up CCTV cameras and lights. Looks like a bomb has exploded here in our office, gotta sort this out. Wires and crap everywhere.

X-factor of course on Saturday night and then I popped over to the pub with the lads for a ... lemonade. No more beers for me.
Oh yeah, and I had another kebab for dinner. Two kebabs within 12 hours...cannot be good.

Sunday we spent at Bluewater browsing round lovely things. Found myself a little shrug thing to keep me warm. People were already buying Xmas presents which is a bit worrying.
I am so unorganised when it comes to Christmas. I'm just going to hide under the Christmas Tree until Easter comes. Then Quiz in the evening, but we were useless. 16 out of 25.

Poor Ross has been taken into hospital by the way, kidney stones. Ouchy! So we went round to see him as well. Then went round to take his dogs for a walk as Lorraine had enough to do with no sleep and little Lola.

Tonight its Haaaaalllllloooooowwwweeeeeen. Going round to Canewdon to shake hands with some ghosts. Whoooooo hooooooooooooooo.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Glittering Balls

Good afternoon,
Long time since last entry, just been busy or my life's too boring? Either way, no entries got written!

Friday at last after having spent the week with my nose in books about Flash and ActionScript. To start with I just found Flash completely backwards comparing it to Freehand, and all the tools seemed to work in different ways. But as soon as I got the hang of it, Wham Bam I love it!
And when I got a few ActionScripts working I was even happier.
Love to make little animations and see them move on the screen.

My physio took one look at my back today and said proudly:
Look at that back!
I was sooo pleased! Its back to normal almost (touch wood) and I am really happy and will look after it from now on. She then told me I've got a wonky jaw...and told me to put my fingers in my ears and then open my mouth. Right, I thought, this is a physio's way of joking with their patients.
"So put your fingers in your ears, and open your mouth, then stand on one leg and say WOOF!"
Reluctantly I put my fingers in my ears and opened my mouth. She then told me to feel the jaw-bones as I opened the mouth. And the conclusion we both came to is that my jaw is completely off centre and that I open my mouth with my jaw to the left. Bloody thing, I get my back fixed and now my freaking jaw isn't right! Haha.
But I can definately handle a wonky jaw. But My God, am I going to be perfectly alighned and steamlined when this physio woman is finished with me!!!

Tonight I'm off out again. Yes, twice in a year now! Haha.
Me and Sarah are going out in Southend somewhere to see "Glitterball", a funk-band apparently with "funky" wigs on their heads. Sounds like fun.
I will on the other hand try to drink less of the alcoholic beverages...as I've decided hangovers are not for me anymore. Don't enjoy them one single bit. So just a few little laaaagers for me.

Tomorrow off to Bluewater for...well a cup of coffee and a muffin most likely, as I am trying to save some money. Might have to drop into Sephora and sniff all the lovely potions and lotions in there. Want some of that Jessica Simpson Deserts Stuff, like Body Shimmer that tastes of icecream. Oh yes, give it here!

I also want to tell the world about DermaSponge. Its the most amazing product I've ever tried.
Usually in a month, I have about 10 spots or more dive-bombing onto my face (yes I am 28 and still have spots) but after having done this DermaSponge Microdermabrasion twice my skin feels sooo much better. And I've had maybe 3 spots maximum and they haven't been the same heffaclumps as the previous ones, just nice little cute ones that you can cover in a sec.
So there, DermaSponge rules!

Going to Nykoping again next Saturday. Whopppiiieeedoooo. Coldplay and "kalas" (birthday party for all you uno-linguals) and cheap clothes and my sister of course not to forget.
Off to Stockholm on Monday for the concert and her lovely bf is driving us there and back. Can't wait. Great to be tall at concerts and we'll probably get our own "chill-out picnic area" behind us because we'll block everyone's view and noone stands behind us! Great! No more claustrophobia for us!

I guess that's all for now.
Fingers crossed that I don't like the taste of beer tonight.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Autumn Colours



Sunday, October 09, 2005

Club Riga and Red Wine

Had a brilliant night last night, but less of a brilliant day today...! Had a few drinks in the Cricketers pub along the London Road with Sarah and Sergeant Mac.
We then rumbled on to Club Riga and saw Roy Mette and then the excellent Connie Lush, first Blues band I've ever seen live. It was mind-blowingly good. The singer was only about 5 foot, but god, her voice was unbelievable. Really enjoyed it, boogying away by the bar and some of the couples were up dancing. Such a good atmosphere.
Then staggered past the kebab shop on the way back to Sarah's flat. Back at the flat Sarah decided to give us all a night cap in the shape of a glass of red wine. That was that, Helena was officially drunk and both me and Mac got the hiccups. Great...
So around 2am I rolled into a taxi and hiccupped my way home. Was of course gibber-jabbering complete rubbish to the poor taxi driver. Poor man. Still hiccupping as I entered the house, I decided to hold my breath for as long as I could, felt like a life-time and I probably went blue...but schwisch hiccups dissappeared.

Tiptoed upstairs and must have just crashed into bed. Tried to make out I was not drunk to Steve, but I think he somehow saw through me. Might have been that I stunk of smoke and lager. So off I went to sleep.

But no... Steve woke up around 5am by the dogs barking at someone in the doorway. There was I, standing in the doorway, which I have absolutely no recollection of.
Steve asked me where I had been.
- Nowhere.
- But why are you up? Have you been sick?
- NO.
I was apparently really stroppy and angry with him.
Then I sat down on his side of the bed, on his legs.
- Ouch, you are sitting on my legs.
- NO.
- What are you up to, darling?
- NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
- Ok ok, why are you sitting on me, why don't you go back to sleep.
- NO.
And then I'd just gone off to my side of the bed and fallen asleep again...
I cannot remember any of this. All I know is that I certainly hadn't been sick and thank god for that. But christ, I am a stroppy sleepwalker!

So today, no surprise, Helena has been slightly under the weather...Spent most of the day in bed or the sofa.

Steve and Barbac at the pub now, doing the quiz. I have just derma-sponged myself (home microdermabrasion kit) and going back to the sofa in a sec.

Nite nite

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Blues and Sloe Gin

Our first attempt at making Sloe Gin. Picked about 1 kg of sloes yesterday and froze them over night. Today we got our little bottles and started preparing the sloes for the gin. Had so much fun and for some reason the dogs were drewling by the kitchen table were we sat, to get some sloes. They're not exactly tasty berries...Well they hopefully will be when our 4 bottles of Slow Gin are finished near Christmas. If this is successful then I will make Blackberry Brandy next year. Bring it on! Felt rather like an alcoholic where I stood in the queue at Somerfield at 11am with 2 litres of Gin in my basket. Noooo...I am nooot drinking it for lunch....

All ready to go out for tonight. Going out with Sergeant & Pepper (Mac & Sarah) tonight to a place in Southend to see a Blues Band. Should be good. Love live music but just haven't been to a place like that in ages. A few glasses of wine might be the plan as well. Feels crazy to go out boozing with one policewoman and one sergeant...I'd better behave myself. No slutting around! I had a shower, got dressed, felt great, looked in the mirror...hmm...I think that skirt is a little bit too short...got changed to jeans...that's better. I won't get arrested by my friends now!

Sweden-Croatia, World Cup Qualifier tonight. Go on the Swedes! Hopefully we'll win. Fingers crossed.

Had Peter-the-Electrician from work here today (yep, that IS his name). He's going to put up CCTV cameras around our house and one to cover the main room in our house (that'll be the dog cam). We'll be able to record all camera views on to a computer, and also view each of the cameras over the internet! How good is that?! I'll just keep that view as my screen-saver at work and watch the dogs destroy the house! Nah, but hopefully we'll catch some fishy people on film and I can call Sergeant Pepper to get them arrested. We'll probably just catch some foxes on tape, wandering about in the garden.

Over and out for now.
/H

Friday, October 07, 2005

Oatsodelicious



How come I've never tried Oatsosimple before?! Its delicious! Apple and Raspberry flavoured porridge, 2 minutes in the microwave, Robert's your mum's brother! Yummy stuff. A bit worrying though that when I reached for the packet in the supermarket, so did the carer of the 80 year old in a wheelchair.

-"Which one do you want, dear" he asked her.
- "Apple and Raspberry, please. Two packets" the old lady answered.

So...I thought...well she obviously prefers that one...and I bet she's a bit of a porridge connoisseur!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Wednesday thoughts

Another mid-week, the days zoom past and the weekend is on the horizon.

Me and Steve went to the pub for about 10 minutes last night - downed a double Whiskey and walked back again. Yep, my cold got such a shock I think it died and went away.
"Cannot hold baby until I stop coughing..." so please let me stop coughing!
Hopefully I'll be able to go round this weekend to get a bit closer to Miss Lola.

Tonight its "Lost". Can't wait.

Not a lot exciting happening this week, might do a quiz tonight if I am awake.
Have been doing lots of Bus Numbers and Histories on a website this week, and it seems to send me to sleep. Exhausting to stare at fleet numbers...

Still going to physio for my back. Feels alright at the mo so fingers crossed I am on the road to full recovery.

As you can see, not a lot happening. Will check back in when there's more to report.
Over and out

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl...

Welcome to the world, little baby Lola Isabella Newman.
Lorraine and Ross finally had their little girl late last night and have called her Lola. What a sweet little name. We are going round tonight to see the little thing, and her proud parents.
Ahhhhh, baaaaabies! How cute are they?

This week has flown by. Thursday tomorrow already. Loving work and the weather is certainly feeling more autumnal. Can't wait to wear my big "Siberia Coat" and my big fluffy boots.

My microdermabrasion home-kit arrived today. Will try it out tomorrow, and probably look like death on Friday. Apparently it makes your skin peel, like after sunburn, and new healthy skin creates underneath. So I will give it a go tomorrow. Slightly nervous, what if my face actually falls off? Oh well, could be worse.

Watched Lost again last night. Had recorded it while I was away. Its getting better and better.
Its really bugging me, what on earth is going on on that island? Polar bears, strange french woman, whispers and apparitions. Want more!

I still have a slight cold, sneezing every 2 minutes, great big powerful sneezes as well that make your whole body tingle. And my throat is sore, but could be worse, not complaining.

For some reason I am all excited about Autumn and Winter this year, liking the cold and look forward to the dark evenings. Maybe its because I know I won't be cold with all my lovely new clothes. Having a wardrobe with lots of clothes I'm actually excited to wear is great. Just need to scrub my face off to complete the "new-me"-look!

Off to blow my nose.

Monday, September 26, 2005

New wardrobe, new face and more energy

Good morning. No, it really is a good morning.
Got back late last night from Stansted and found the house spotless and boyfriend and dogs happily wagging their tails, no really Steve was wagging too!
Unpacked my suitcases...went out with half a suitcase, came back with two stuffed ones...?!
Ah, shopping was great out there and me, my sister and her boyfriend spent most of the weekend ploughing through shops. Found some great winter boots and a gorgeous winter coat. And because I couldn't fit them in my suitcase I had to weat them travelling back...people must have thought I'd just got off the Siberia-flight no doubt...I was cooking!

Had such a lovely weekend. Friday in Nykoping and visited my sister's work, then lovely lunch in the historical town with all its beautiful houses. The evening was spent trying to connect Saras laptop to broadband. Finally got online and I decided to order the microdermabrasion home-kit that we saw at the Body/Beauty Exhibition the other week. Let's see what it does.

Saturday we went to Vingaker - a Factory Outlet with loads of great clothes for 50% of the price. This is where I found my eskimo outfit. Then on the way back we dropped by an old friend of mine who's just had a little baby-boy (Anton). So nice to see Stina and will definately go back there in November to catch up a bit more.

Sunday me and my sis went to Norrkoping, another lovely city, with trams and everything.
The houses are so colourful compared to here. Red and yellow and just so charming.
Found another few shops to spend our money in...dangerous!

The flight back took 1 hour 40 minutes, which is unheard of. So quick! The easiest trip I've ever done. Nice to be back here at home though as well, unpack and be with my "pack".

Sis: Thanks for a great weekend. See you in November!
Mandy: You're great!!!
Steve: You didn't hoover the stairs ;)
Hazel: Gracias for picking me up from el aeropuerto, mi amiga
Indy: I am sure you have put on weight

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Slap on the anti-wrinkle cream

Just come back from the "Beauty and Body Show" in Brentwood. It was either that or "Showbus" at Duxford...oh let me think...lots of pink and lovely glitter things or old buses...ehm...difficult choice. The beauticians tried in vain to get rid of my wrinkles. Slap it on, was my advice, but all I got was a bit of a white, crusty surface under my eye when it mixed with my make-up...great!
The lip-plumper though, my God, we tried it on and 3 minutes later we are pouting like two old trouts and its a must have. What a difference!
Found myself a little (well actually big) necklace as well in shape of a leaf. Bring on the Autumn.

Feeling slightly weird and sick today. Felt like I was going to faint at the exhibition and ran out to get myself a Kit Kat. Chocolate can cure anything, I am sure!

Quiz tonight at the local as usual. Always good fun.

Dropped Hazel off at "The Lodge" where she was meeting her "blind-date".
Apparently it all went very well and they had a great time. He seems like a good catch so we'll have to see what happens. Fingers crossed.

Thursday evening I am flying to Nykoping to see my sister. Whooopie. Can't wait. Although I will be sleeping under the kitchen table with her dog Miklo as there is no room in the flat. Unless I fancy crashing in the shower. She's just moved in with Filip, her boyfriend, and there are boxes and clothes and things and crap piled high in the front room. So I will be bonding with the kitchen floor. No problems.

Feeling a bit rough still. Going to lie down for a bit. I think the Lip Plumper drew all my blood from my head and into my lips...Gotta lie down now before I pass out.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Kall Spel


COOOOOLD PLAAAAY

My sister has fixed me!!!
7 Nov 2005, Globen in Stockholm. Heere weee coooome!

I will be sick on the person standing in front of me when the Fix Me comes on. AAAAAHHHH!

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Snapshots of the Forsvall sisters






This is me as a pupster!












And this is my sister Sara









Whahey - and this is us together!








This is us again. Can't believe she picked the same outfit as me!









A rather constipated look on my face, as I help mum clearing the driveway of snow!

Creep

Why do I do it? Scary films are just not meant for me.
Went round Hazel's last night to watch Dodge Ball and eat Chinese Food.
Halfway round to her house, I realise I'd left the DVD on the kitchen table and couldn't be bothered to go back for it, as I was starving.

After the usual giggle and chinwag we ordered Chinese. By mistake Hazel rang up a Pizza delivery place and asked for Spring Rolls... "what..? Spring rolls on your pizza?" So we tried another number...

Anyway, we scrolled through Sky Box Office and found "Creep".
We knew it was a bit scary and set in the London Underground etc.
Little did we know that we, from about 2 minutes into the film, would not be able to breathe, would feel sick, not dare to look at the tv screen for the next 90 minutes.
Christ. It was sick!
What director would come up with a story like that? He should be locked up.
It was unbelievably disgusting and scary and I started up sitting up in the sofa, but at the end of the film I was lying behind Hazel, rolled up as a ball, with a big cushion pressed up against my face, struggling to breathe as I was almost suffocating myself.
I was watching Hazel more than the film and she was looking panic-stricken, holding her hands to the ears and making noices as if she was being sick.

You know its not a film for you when your asking questions like from behind a cushion:
- Did the freak crush his head with his hands?
- What are those babies doing in those jars?
- Oh my god, he's had his legs bitten off, has he still got his legs????
- What a freak, ahhh run you foool, stab him with the spear, why don't you just stab him???

No, it was a really enjoyable night.. Honestly.
That Hazel had to walk me to the car is another story, and I was listening to Peter Cetera on full volume in the car. I have never been so pleased to hear the song "After All".

The words though got me thinking about you and me though Hazel.

Well, here we are again
I guess it must be fate
We've tried it on our own
But deep inside we've known
We'd be back to set things straight
Every journey always bring me back to you

After all the stops and starts
We keep coming back to these two hearts
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall

After all that we've been through
It all comes down to me and you
I guess it's meant to be
Forever you and me
After all

Musical thoughts

Read my sisters Blog and she was listing a few songs that, before she knew English, was singing in some kind of weird Swenglish, well it wasn't even Swedish, it was just weird words.
It really made me laugh and I thought of a few songs that I STILL to this day, just can't sing in "proper English" but revert back to what seems to be an undiscovered African Native language or something.

The Bangles. This one's not too bad as I was probably a bit older when I "learnt" the lyrics...
Manic Monday goes like this:
---
Hatta get an aeroplane, gatta get to work at night
And if I had an aeroplane, I still couldn't make it at night

S'just another manic money
wish it was sunny
thats not funny
ana wanna runna *some mumbling*
Yaazzzaa nada maaaanic monnney
--

Then there's the fabulous Michael Jackson song:
Da-di-Da-Jänna
Da-di-Da-Jänna
Noooo
Da-di-Da-Jänna
(Yes, my dear folks, its Dirty Diana)

And why Michael Jackson was singing about a Librarian I will never understand?
Well, he was always a bit Wacko I guess... "Librarian Giiiiiirl, you came and you changed my life."
What, how??? Here Michael, read this book, it will change your life...?! Or something?

I went through a period when I was very young (it has to be said) when I liked "Heavy Metal".
Like Depeche Mode... (?)
In my diary (have kept diarys ever since I was 7 years old, and still do to this day) when I was about 12 maybe, can't remember, the entry on page 36 says (in Swedish though)
- By the way, I LOVE HEAVY METAL, especially Depeche Mode.
I wonder what Martin Gore would say about my liberal labelling of their music...
Anyway, the ONLY song I had heard with them was "Mastin and Seven"
(Master and Servant...)

Letsay mastin an seven
Letsay mastin and seven
Its a lo - Its a lo - Its a lo - Its a lo - Light Life
Maaaaastin an Seven


Another classic is one that I am sure my sister can fully relate to.
It was a tape recorder cassette with a page-3 model on the cover, with the title "Lektyr"
Lektyr is (or was) one of the main porn-mags of the time.
I don't even want to know where that tape came from...and please forgive me for not putting my suspicions down here...but most probably it came in a magazine as a freebie-promotion thing.
Christ!
And this tape falls into the hands of 11 year old me and 9 year old sister Sara.
Too young and stupid to understand there is a slut on the cover!

So we play the tape over and over and over in our little rattly tape recorder and sing-a-long to the *great* songs. I can't so much remember the songs though, as the voice in between the songs. This very strange and somewhat scary voice was saying things like:
- Don't miss out on the next issue of Lektyr, the magazine that gives you what YOU want.
- With more ladies acting out your fantasies ...oh yeaaaah
and so on.
And as kids do, we sang along to the songs and then repeated the words that they were saying in between. We knew the whole tape off by heart!!
I have no idea if my mum and dad know we even HAD this tape. God knows.
No wonder they've now got two tall blonde daughters with extremely dirty minds! Haha




Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Batman without Robin

Went to be early last night. Had just climbed into bed when I saw a small, dark shadow that swooped at me from the ceiling. What da heck? I ducked and tried to see what was coming at me and...swoop...there it was again coming at me at full speed. I dived under the duvet and screamed:
-Steve, there's a BIIIIRD IN HEERE!!
He came out from the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth.
-That's not a bird, that's a BAT! he calmly stated.

A bat? Holy crap. I pulled the duvet completely over my head.
Peering out I could just about make out the mouse-like body, with the typical bat-wings.
I imagined the bloodsucking teeth and its pointy ears and ... blaaaah....not nice.

Steve opened the window and the bat was doing loops in the ceiling, trying to get out.
It kept missing the window and Steve was ducking and diving trying not to get hit on the head by the bat. I on the other hand was watching the whole thing through a 2x2 cm gap.
Steve then decided to go downstairs to get some "tools" to get the bat out of the bedroom.
I stayed put in my safe haven.

After a further 15 minutes of the bat swooping round the room and Steve ducking and me just being absolutely useless, the bat finally decided to disappear and hide...
So...we waited...no bat.
A further 5 minutes... still no bat.
We decided to go to sleep, with the risk of waking up in the middle of the night with a bat on our heads. Gah, I kept waking up during the night in a cold sweat, having dreamt that the bat was sucking blood from the top of my head.

The next morning, Steve went to work early, and when I got up I saw his "Bat-Removal-Kit"
1. A step ladder
2. Two bowls (a 2 litres each)

Ok, so that's how he was intending to catch the bat.
Swivel round on the stepladder catching the bastard in between the two bowls...! Of course!
Why didn't I think of that.

Well, at least he had a plan.
I was just shitscared under the duvet.
Not used to bats at all...blaaaah, can't stand them.

Listening to Sweden-Hungary World Cup qualifier match on "Radiosporten" right now.
Vi ar gula vi ar bla Vi ar dem vi hejar pa!
Sverige Sverige Sverige
As you cheered when you were 10 years old....

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

My ball and I

Got fed up with Winsor Pilates, so I got myself a Fitness ball and DVD to go with it.
Featuring Skinny Bitch Moira and Flexible Ass PJ.
And then there was me. "Dynamic Balance" - More like "Hysterically Unbalanced"
Trying to keep up with the bitches on my ball, that for some reason didn't seem as stable as their ones. I must get some support wheels or something, like you get for small bikes.
Anyway, I was absolutely crap and wobbled around like a big toad on this ball for about 45 minutes. I could most relate to the exercise "The Elephant", yep I really felt at home on that one.

Today on the other hand, phew I am am aching like a hyena in every part of the body, apart from maybe my nose and ears.
So I am absolutely carrying on with this shit for a few more weeks to see what happens.

Tuesday and I am starting work at 11am. Got another few minutes to blab away.

Hate mornings when you find yourself staring at your wardrobe for about 10 minutes, just looking and thinking and looking and thinking and realising there is NOTHING I want or even could wear. So I slid myself into an old knackered grey skirt and a black t-shirt. I look like crap, but anything is better than going naked.
So on came the washing machine and I am going to sort it all out tonight. Hopefully Vingaker Outlet with sort things out for me on the 22 September, when me and my sister are rocking the party.

Cut a side fringe yesterday, looks ok. My hair is getting longer every day. Should be down to my waist in time for our wedding.

Oh how I wish I had some money to buy clothes with. A few hundred to just burn at Bluewaters lovely shops would be nice. And I could chuck this god-awful skirt in the pond.
Laminated a quote I liked yesterday at work.

"I have enough money to last for the rest of my life - unless I buy something"
Jackie Mason

Yep that's me.

Must run.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Rocking chairs and sunshine

Loving Sundays at the moment. Today the sun has been shining nonstop and we've been out pretty much all day. Got myself a lovely tan as well (Johnson's Holiday Skin of course).
Went to Asda to get bbq stuff for us and the dogs. Bought some tzatsiki and panini bread and yum yum can't wait til dinner is served.

Went out with Steve & Barbac last night. Ended up winning 6 jackpots on the fruitmachine (s) and got £40 each. I invested £2 so can't complain.

Loving Jack Johnson's music at the moment, lovely lovely. And I want a guitar that sounds like his as well. Mine's just a rattly old bugger now.

Tonight is the weekly quiz. Last week I wasn't there and they lost...so I will help them this time!

Not a lot to report, just relaxing in the sun in my rocking chair.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Rambling


Went to see "Charlie & Chocolate Factory" yesterday. Brilliant. Loved Johnny Depp so much.
Then went back to my friend's house and drank about 3 litres of Pepsi as it was 28 degrees outside and it felt like we were in Spain. Humid and hot. Lovely. Sat and talked about all sorts of things until I realised it was midnight. Whoopsie... and off home I went.

Worked half day at work and half day from home. Loads to do at the mo, but its good. Like it better that way.

Received my "dog training clicker" today so watch it puppies (well...) here I come to teach you old dogs some new tricks. Indy is already quite good at high-five as he throws his paws about as soon as you come close to him.

Oh how I love to colour my hair blonde. When you've had darker roots coming at ya for months its nice just to suffer those stingy, itchy 30 minutes to get silky smooth blonde hair again.

Tonight I will make up for a rather late night out for Steve, the poor thing. He was sitting here waiting for me to get back and to watch "Lost" together, but at 00.30 when I rumbled back in he was snoozing in bed. God I love him sometimes. So I will make lovely dinner and be all his tonight.

Had an American lady on the phone yesterday at work:
- Hiiiiii, I am caaaalling about the Hop Oooon Hop Ooooff buses in London.
- Yes certainly, how can I help?
- I am in London now and I am just wondering ...where do I go from here?
- Well whereabout in London are you?
- I DON'T KNOW (in a really patronising voice) I am in Loooondon, I don't know where I am.
- Right...well you see we have several start points in London. Are you close to any famous landmarks, parks etc?
- Yeeeah, I am close to Hyyyyyyde Park/
- Great... Ah, Excellent! In that case the nearest stop is at Marble Arch.
(phew)
The American accent just makes me laugh sometimes, they really hang on certain syllables. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, how aaaaaaaaaaaaaaare you?
Yeeeeeeeeeeeah, greeeeeeeeat.
Whereas in the UK its:
Alright, mate?
No fuss.

Realised today I need to get hold of The Sundays and Eggstone. Great summer music.

Off to get dinner started. G'day.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Charlie and his Chocolate



Good afternoon. My god the sun is hot today. Just sat outside the front door with a Diet Pepsi and a tub of newly-picked Blackberries. Dogs baking themselves in the sunshine on the lawn. Yum yum, I love the sun!

Off to see "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" tonight with a friend. Can't wait. Roald Rocks and so does going to the cinema. Must get pick 'n mix.


Spent the day working from home, looking after my oldest dog Dakota who has one of those big plastic "lampshades" on his head to stop him from chewing his stiches out on his leg. Got hit by a car a few weeks back, broke his leg and paw in several places. God old Dakster though, he didn't complain, but went out chasing foxes the day after the accident...(we didn't know it was broken at that time...)

I have just discovered Muller Corner's "Blueberry Manhattan Cheesecake" - A must have!
So yummy.

Ordered myself a gym-ball today with a Pilates video to go with it. Should be fun. Thank god I can hide away in the annexe so that my boyfriend doesn't have to walk in on me, upside down dangling from a big, blue ball. Supposed to be good for bad-back sufferers i.e. me. So we will have to see what kind of magic it can do for me.

Looking forward to next week when Sarah is back from holiday. And I've got paid so I can actually go places with her. The pub for example.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Barbie, Cindy & Kenneth


In about 3 weeks I could be an auntie! I am so excited about seeing my sister-in-law's baby for the first time. Lucky Lorraine. Hope its my turn soon!
We were brainstorming names the other night. Jordan...Bluebell...Rodney... She knows its a girl and has a name or two that are favourites, but still open to suggestions. If anyone has any good ones, please let me know.
Barbie, Cindy and Kenneth...no, not Ken...Kenneth

Aaanyway.

Can't wait to travel to Sweden on the 22 Sept. Staying at my sisters and I am so excited.
Shopping, chatting, eating/drinking, farting and generally just having my sister close again!
Thank the Lord for Ryanair. 40 ding-dongs return.