Monday, February 25, 2008

...and I'm feelin' gooood

Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new liiiiife for me.....

Yep, got my motivation back, my energy has returned. I felt fine all yesterday and decided to clean/tidy the house from top to bottom. Even managed the courtyard and doing some washing. Bloody efficient I was. It was great to not have to sit down after having gone up the stairs.
So the house is tidy, the washing machine is running warm and I've got the annexe sorted for my family who's over at the weekend. Well, the tiling will now be done on Friday & Saturday...haha talk about cutting it fine.

But yesterday obviously took its toll on my energy reserves and by 19.20 I was snoring in the sofa. I didn't wake up til 23.00 when Steve came back in from the pub. Then straight to bed and woke up at 07.00...
12 hours sleep, oh yes, its all good.

Went to Sainsburys today. Got a major thing for Waldorf Sallad and Cured Ham....ooooooh yes. And Plums & Kiwis are still in my top 5.

Should be ironing now, but noooooo.
Going to sit here, eat some plums, drink some coffee and flick through some pregnancy/mum-to-be magazine to reaaaaally waste time.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Tears on my pillow

God, talk about rollercoaster.

I am just a mess at the moment, crying at the slightest little thing. Pregnancy hormones are not to mess with.

I feel like I am schizophrenic as I am looking at myself as if I am a total stranger.
For example, I am so fussy with my food its unbelievable. And it annoys the hell out of the "real me".
I have gone off tea completely and I am pissed off with myself for being so ridiculous as again, the "real me" is dying for a cuppa.

So the other day I asked Steve if he fancied a cup of tea. He said yes.
I heard myself say: I am going to have a cup too!
Then the "real me" says out loud: My god, I think I am going to have tea today!
As if the "pregnant me" has decided what I am allowed to have. Stupid.

The "real me" knows it is completely normal to feel tearful and low during pregnancy, whereas the "pregnant me" has no clue. She worries about everything and anything, labour - her being tired - her feeling sick - her letting people down - her being a bad mum - her being a lazy mum - the list could go on for ages...

And its hard work living so closely together with a complete nut-case (ie Pregnant-Me) Sharing a bed with her, Bloody having to get up in the morning with her and Having dinner with her. She's a fuck-head.

So, the tears are rolling and I am feeling low, but inside all of this the real me is still here and waiting for my turn to return to the front row again....

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Overwhelming tiredness & Fog again

Pregnant again. Its excellent and shite at the same time.
The sickness has passed but the tiredness lingers. I feel absolutely shattered and today I am feeling sorry for myself.

I will write this and go to bed. Ellen's just gone down for her nap and I could sneak about 1,5h sleep if I am lucky.

Last night it was so foggy, see below. It was like being out in a ghost-story, expecting to see a black horse with a headless man riding it or something.

This afternoon I'm meeting my sister-in-law at a playcentre in Hockley. Great fun for the kids and its nice for us to sit down to have a coffee and snacks. I will probably order a three-course meal and 5 drinks, seeing as I've got an appetite like a horse.

Anyway, off to bed now to have a little hormone cry. Feeling so drained and crap.
Tomorrow will be a better day!











Sunday, February 17, 2008

A night out

Aaaah.
I feel awake and rested.

We had been invited to a hotel (http://www.milsoms-hotel.co.uk/) by two of our best friends Louise & Pierce last night, and had a babysitter booked and I was soooo looking forward to a night to ourselves and a lie-in in the morning.

15 minutes before we were about to leave Steve phone rings and there's a problem at work, and he's on call and says he has to go to work...
My heart sank and I was praying it wasn't true. He was on and off the phone to work and I was just sitting in the sofa, all ready to go with make-up and lovely looking haaaaair as I'd really made an effort and was all dressed up. Then Steve said his brother had offered to do his shift for him, which I will be forever grateful for and we owe them big style, and we could finally head up to the hotel. Thaaaaank you Ross!

About 30 minutes drive and then we were there. A house tucked away in a lovely little village. We checked in and our key was on a key-ring in the shape of a whisk! And not a small whisk, a huge one! I'd packed our overnight bag ( a sports bag) and forgotten to actually bring my handbag, so the whole night I was carrying this huge whisk around with me.

Louise who's also pregnant (oh yes, did I mention that, I am 11 weeks pregnant...!) was an excellent companion to be with, as we are both as funny about our food as eachother. We sat reading the dinner-menu for about 45 minutes...no joking. We just couldn't decide what to have. In the end, I went for sausages and bubble-and-squeak, which was stunning. We also had a small glass of rose champagne which lasted us the whole evening. Had a great evening with silly conversation and lots of laughs.
Then we all started yawning like mad at 1am and retired to our rooms.
The beds were loooovely and I slept like a bear til 9am. Aaaaahhhh.

Then up for breakfast and then time to drive home again. Its a lovely day today and the sun is shining and birds are tweeting and ooooh oohhhh ohhh I like it.

So I feel like a new woman and am now going to offer my baby-sitting services to Ross & Lorraine as they saved the night for us, I'd like them to have the same.

Time for coffee.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

"Man-Flu" and fog

Good morning *sniff sniff splurt splurt*
Steve has given me his "man-flu", but of course I haven't got it as bad as he has. His nose is obviously more blocked than mine and his head is hurting soooo badly.
I am just feeling rotten really. But hey ho, just been out for a walk and feeling a bit more awake now. The field/garden was covered in a fog and it looked fantastic as the trees seemed to be growing out of the fog. And to add to the whole Fairytale look, a big black bird (raven, crow, big-fuckin' blackbird?) landed at the top of one of the trees. It looked sooo spooky and mysterious...

Ellen loves being in her pram, with her "crooked-finger" as we call it, her finger that points on everything and everyone. She loves plane-spotting in the sky and waves bye-bye to them all.
I am now teaching her Bye Bye Aeroplane, but that just sounds like goobledygook at the moment.

She amazes me everyday when she comes out with new words, sometimes in Swedish, sometimes in English. This morning it was "window" (maybe not as clear as that through) and "sol". Other words "flower", "ball" and "apple" (everything's an apple, anything round or fruitlike is an apple, even a small grape...).

This afternoon I am going round my sister-in-law's as it was her birthday yesterday. There will be a few children there so that's going to be nice for Ellen. And it gives me a chance to just put my feet up and chill for a while. At home I just sit and look at all the things that needs doing - and do nothing about it.

Yesterday I ordered some blinds for the annexe. As we've got guests coming in a few weeks time, we are having a major sort out in the two bedrooms out there. Had Hillary's Blinds here yesterday and went for some cream roller blinds in the blue bedroom and some very light mint green venetian blinds in the green/lilac room. Will be fitted in about 2 weeks. Great stuff.
Now I just need to get Steve to move his old milk bottles that he stores in there. There's hundreds of them...god knows where to put them.

I've also got some material to make some drapes and curtains from. Its been ordered from the internet so hopefully it looks ok when it arrives. Some kind of Faux Suede... we'll see, it might look like shite.

Got a major thing for fruit. I am sure I said that before. Peaches and Kiwis are now top of my list...

Got 3 tons of ironing to do, so better get on with it...Buhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Friday, February 08, 2008

I'm alive!

Oh yes, thought you'd got rid of me. Nooo.
I am back in Blogland.

I have been so busy, exhausted, ill, tired, happy, away, at home and asleep that I simply haven't had time to write.

But hopefully I will find time now.


Went home to Sweden for Christmas, that was nice of course and lovely to see my family. Poor little Ellen had an ear-infection and was not too happy throughout the whole stay. But she is back on track now and she's walking the little sunbeam.
On the 17 January she took her first steps on her own, and now she's rockin'. She loves spinning round in circles in her room (where there's a thick carpet to save her if she falls). Picture below. She moved so fast I could hardly catch her in the photo.

What is new?
Got a new exercise routine going. Have set up a little Stability Ball exercise schedule for myself and its pretty tough I must say. Trying to do it 2-3 times a week and some walking in between. Should get my bum into tip-top shape!

Ellen's at nursery today and I've been working. Its a blessing to have a day or two a week just to myself and knowing that Ellen is in safe hands and that she really enjoys it is worth a lot. She comes home from nursery having made us little biscuits or little cards with stickers all over it...its so cute.
We actually went to HobbyCraft the other day and got lots of little sticky-bits, crayons, glue, pipecleaners, paper etc etc and we've now got a little Craft-Station set up in the living room, where we make all sorts of weird looking things...She particularly loves putting stickers on her shoes...not sure where she got that idea from. She now walks around with a glittery bear on one shoe and a glittery heart on the other. Maybe I should do the same?!

Its almost time to pick the little rascal up, but aaaaaaaaw, just a few more moments to myself...

I've got about 3 bags of clean washing to iron and fold and put away tonight. Great...just what I fancy on a Friday night.

Last night I was in bed by 9.30 and asleep by 9.31. I then woke up at 1am and could NOT sleep. Was lying awake for ages and when Ellen started crying at 7am I could not get out of bed. Steve was an angel and got up for me and I stayed in bed til 8.30. Feel a lot better now. Not been feeling too good lately...

My mum and uncle/auntie/cousins+1 are coming over in the beginning of March. I can't wait. Going to let them sleep in the annexe and tidying and making it lovely out there now. Just needs some blinds and a good hoover, and then its all ready to go!

Got a thing for Fruit Sallad at the moment. Kiwi, banana, apple & peach. Yum yum.

And so I sign out for this time. Hopefully more regular updates now.
Sort yourself out woman.

WHAT'S COOKING?


THE SPEED DEMON