The weekend

Monday finally. Weekend was great, although suffered from hangover Sunday. Not used to alcohol anymore and certainly feel it the day after.
Ellen was being super difficult thoughout the whole Saturday and because it was raining outside I couldn't even take her in the pram to calm her down.

Steve suffered from a major sore throat and so was let off work from being on call. He sounded like a robot stuck in a metal can. So I rang Sarah to see if they still fancied a few drinks which they did. We dropped dogs and Ellen off at Steves parents and picked up Bob on the way to Sarah & Barneys. Sarah's friend Clare was there for the weekend and she was really nice. Had her 3 year old daughter with her, stunning little girl.
Steve was not drinking as he was not feeling great at all, and I said I would only have a few...
Few bottles....nah, not that bad. Had such a laugh anyway, usually gets so much better when things are not planned and just done spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. Clare was really into spirits and ghosts and told us about her experiences which was so interesting. Then we played a bit of pop-quiz (which kept crashing the DVD everytime Steve and Bob were in the lead...funny that!)
Steve then went to pick up Ellen and the dogs from his parents and brought them round to the flat. Barney had them trained in no time with treats from the snack-table. You could tell he was used to giving out orders and I think the dogs felt he had authority...haha, bless Mindy's little cottonsocks, he was there to attention obeying his every command. Sit! Sir, yes Sir!!!!

Anyway, left about 2.30am and didn't get to bed til about 3.30am and then it was time to feed Ellen anyway...so god was I tired.

Felt like death warmed up all Sunday and we kept having power-naps everytime Ellen slept. Still not enough sleep. Thank god she went through the night last night though.

Today our guestbathroom is being ripped out. A nice new one fitted and should hopefully be done within 2 weeks. Gotta order some tiles tomorrow and get some powershowers. Ahhhh, I cannnnnoooooooottttt waaaaait! Imagine a nice clean new bathroom with a shower that you actually get wet in! Get in.

Things stirring in the moses basket, so off I go.

Friday thoughts

Ah, quiet and a cup of coffee. This is heaven!
Ellen's asleep and all my "duties" are done. Feels good.

Just checked the scales again and there it was, another kilo gone. Got 2 left til I am back to my normal weight, already less than I was before I was pregnant. Feels like an achievment. Although I haven't been to the gym. Got some free tickets if anyone fancy joining me. Could go for a steamroom at least. That should clear my nose.

Got my Christmas list ready now, all I need to do is hunt it all down. Easier said than done maybe. But I love Christmas shopping and I think me and Jill are heading out next week. Don't forget the funky wrapping paper, that's the best part, when they're all wrapped lying there in a big pile! You sort of forget what you've wrapped and they all look sooo tempting and inviting!

Ordering tiles for the bathroom today. Can't wait to get them both done and great to have them done for Christmas. Only thing is, Ellen's going to have to take showers with me for a while, til the bathroom's done.

Watched Lost finally last night. Christ, we keep recording these things and then the evenings just get interrupted by either babystuff or we're out somewhere. I do love that series, but will we get all the answers to all the weird stuff that's going on. I do hope so.
The black smoke...the bears...the visions etc.

So glad I went to the first playgroup meeting a few weeks back. Without my new friends I reckon I would be pretty upset right now, but I always say things happen for a reason...so I guess that's what's happened.

There's scraping in the babymonitor so better go.

Another day - another dollar

Slightly hungover after a night out, can you believe it! I actually left the house, went out the door and went out to the pub. Christ, what is the world coming to!
Great laugh and did the quiz. Staggered back happy to have a life again, even just for a moment.
Stink of smoke now though. Gotta do some washing. And with that, Ellen's just woken up.
Over and out for now.

Very tired eyes

Good evening,
Finally a quiet moment to myself to reflect over the last few weeks. Its hard not having almost any time to myself for even a moment, only when the little one is asleep, which is usually for about 1 hour, and then I am usually doing hoovering, dishes, cleaning, washing, dog walking, anything but chillin basically...

So phew... a moment

Finding having a daughter incredibly wonderful, but of course its also a total change. Especially in having time for ME and what I want... but I guess what I want doesn't really happen very often anymore. Even Friday nights, which used to be such a nice relaxing time having a friend over has now gone to ratshit. Ellen took to screaming her head off during those evenings, so I guess I scared my friends away. At least I feel like I don't want to put "my burden" on to them, so I guess if they wanna see me they know where me and "miss louder than life" is.

Turned 30, kind of missed that...it happened and here I am. A few more wrinkles maybe. Was supposed to go for drink-up this weekend, but Steve is on call so that means he has to stay sober and might have to go out driving a bus or two, which also means that if I got sloshed out of my head it would not be much fun for little Ellen. Plus I seem to have caught cold #2 and my throat is like sandpaper... So again... babywipes and formula anyone?

Haven't even managed to get to the gym for weeks. Been to knackered in the evenings I think, as we tried changing Ellens food to the one for hungrier babies...made her shit green poo...and it was like shitting big rocks I think as she was screaming her head off for days. Poor little thing, we quickly changed back but I think she is still suffering. Apparently the brand we are using is the worst one for getting constipated. BAAAAD mum...

So had to cut the Wednesday bundles & tumbles short as Ellen was howling the place down. Good thing it was "Singing Day" so all the other mums were busy doing Itsy Bitsy Spider or something.

And so Christmas is around the corner...haven't even had a chance to think about what we're doing, where or how. Got my mum & sis over so at least that's decided. And yesterday I managed to get a few pressies. Unorganised and confused is the word for the moment.

What else...had a lovely time with my dad and his wife when they were over. Great to see "granddad" playing and holding his granddaughter. Will go over there in February to see mum, dad, grandma and the rest of the gang. Going to go home at least 3-4 times a year, making an effort for my family to be able to see Ellen grow up as well. Not fair otherwise. So hello SAS here I come.

Going to the gym tonight has gone out the window I think...I am feeling so rotten with my throat and nose running. They rang from David Lloyds today haha and asked how my membership was going etc...I think they can see on their little machines that I haven't been for a while...but fear not I will go back for sure. Lisa keeps asking if I am going and I am tryyyying...

Really feel like I haven't got time for anything at the moment. I hope this will pass and that poor little Ellen will become a bit more harmonious in the evenings. Saying that though, it sounds like she's a monster...she's not. She just seems to pick her moments, like evenings I am going out...and then I feel to much like a "bad mum" if I go, so I usually end up staying in.

Blllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, I think its been one of those days today. She hasn't really stopped crying, and I am going to hang myself off the chandelier. Tomorrow I will be bright eyed Helena again...I wish!

Holy moses

Didn't think it would be that easy. 2,5 kg lost in about 10 days. Like it!
Enjoying all the wonderful new dishes that I get to eat, instead of stuffing my face with sweets and burgers. Had lovely fruitsallad for desert last night and just scoffed the leftovers now, yummy.

Been out picking sloes. Going to make a few more bottles of Sloe Gin. Perfect Christmas drink. Warms you up and spits you out!

Drinking Green Tea and Jasmine Tea. Very nice. Detoxing apparently, so bring it on.
Having Cottage Cheese with Apple and Cinnamon for desert tonight. Sounds interesting.

Have got a terrible cold and is sniffling around the house, hoping Ellen won't catch it.
That would be awful.

Its Bonfire Night here tonight and I went and got a pack called "Massive Assault" and some sparklers called Mammuth Sparklers! Hopefully they will be as big and brash as the brand makes out! The dogs hate fireworks, so they're probably thinking: "Yeah, thanks guys, thaaanks, you two have fun...don't mind us..."
But I looove setting off rockets and spinning sparklers round to make letters and circles and crap. And its Ellens first Bonfire Night so she can have a sparkler as well, I guess...if I hold it for her. She might just be able to see it...?!

Really feeling spurred on by seeing the scales tell me I am "slim" again. I was 78kg before I got pregnant, which is about 4 kg more than I usually weigh, so being back to that is a victory in itself. Just wanna get back to 74kgs and that will be that. Simple!
Let's see how it goes eh.

Ellen's eyes have just popped open, so gotta go!

BANG!

Absolut Vodka - Vanilla

Good morning,
The little one is asleep, and I am grateful for that! Last night was a bit of a crying-marathon and after 2 hours of high-pitched screaching I'd had enough. I went to our bar and pulled out one of Steve's small vodka bottles (samples of different flavours of Absolut Vodka) from its packaging. I chose Vanilla apparently, couldn't have cared less at the time, I just needed to numb my brain so that the screams would get muted or something.
Ahhhh, so much better. Don't think that did my GI diet any good though. Not sure I am supposed to neck small shots of alcolhol in the evening. Oh well, if it keeps me sane it can only be a good thing.

The cold has finally arrived here as well. Sweden's been bragging with its snow for weeks whereas we've had about 17-18 degrees. Til last night...brrr...its now 7 degrees and the dogs aren't impressed. They jumped into bed with us this morning and burrowed in under the duvet. Only two tails were sticking out.

Had a lovely autumn walk yesterday though: pram, my new grey loooovely long cardigan, my green loooong scarf and my brown hat. Lovely lovely. Walked for about 1 hour just breathing in the cool fresh air.

Today we're off to Bundles & Tumbles, a "mother&baby" meeting in Wickford. Its really good to meet other mums in the area, but I think some of them are from space.
Some women go ever so slightly mad when they have babies and turn into gibbering weirdos who somehow talks through their baby.
One mum held her young baby forwards and said in a baby-voice as if her baby was talking:
- Heelllooooo, I my name is Molly...what's yours?
- Ehmmm, I said, my name is Helena and my daughter here is Ellen.
- *again in the baby voice* Hiiiiii Ellen, wanna play?!
- Ehmmmmmmmmmmmm...
My god, what a freak.
Met some nice women there though, not like freak-woman wearing her jeans up under her armpits. I am sooo glad we didn't call our daughter Molly now like we planned to. Can't stand the name! Had coffee with one of the girlies on Monday, which was great. Just nice to talk to someone who shares the "joys" of motherhood!
So Bundles & Tumbles is my plan for today. Might sneak to the park afterwards and take photos of the colourful trees.

Ah, I can hear scratching in the baby-monitor. Gotta go!