Half a packet of butter and 6 toilet rolls...

...is what my two Ridgebacks managed to gobble down while I was out for 2 hours.
Its been one of those mornings, days, nightmares - whatever you wanna call it...

Oh yes! Because Ellen had been playing up all morning with constant crying due to tummy aches (I suspect), and I had ignored my two doggies or shouted at them: "Out of the way!", "Dak, shut up!", "Indy, don't lie in the baby-gym!", "Dak, moooove!" and because it was throwing down with rain, they didn't want to go out for a wee either...

So when I had to leave the house to go meet some other mums and surround myself with even more screaming kids (!!!??? Why???) they thought of the most appropriate ways of punishing me:
1. Going through the bin and pulling out EVERYTHING
2. Spreading lettuce over the kitchen floor
3. Eating the old butter I'd thrown away and shredding the tub
4. Unwrapping the spicy chicken leftovers and of course eating both the chicken and the box!
(which probably means lovely farts for this evening!)
5. Opening the pack of 12 toiletr rolls freshly arrived from Tesco Online and eating (or shredding, I couldn't quite tell...) 6 of them. Left were 6 rolls with teeth marks in them, so I guess next time any guests use the bathroom, they'll think I've been so hungry I've been having a nibble at the toilet tissue. Bah.

So with a very unhappy baby on my arm I was trying to make her 4 o'clock feed, with the newly purchased Gripe Water (which is supposed to help wind and tummy aches) while trying not to slip on the iceberg lettuce. The two dogs were grinning at me by my feet...
Then the gardener knocked on the door and asked for a cup of tea. Yes (my smiley face!) of course, noooo proooblems! Back to the kitchen, boiled the kettle, tea bag in, sugar in, gripe water in...noooooo....what the heck, that was for the formula bottle.
Start again. No sugar in the formula...that was for the tea. Concentrate...
With a migrane from hell, I finally manage to get it right. By this time both the baby and the gardener are crying for their drinks!

I then manage to give Ellen her bottle and she ends up thanking me with throwing up over my new white shirt. "Thaaaanks Mum, Looooove youuuu, Huuuuaaaaaarschhhhh, there you go!!!"

Ahhh, finally she's asleep. Having a good old puke obviously did the trick!
Made myself some food and actually followed a reciepe and everything, blimey! What's the world coming to? And just as the 17 minutes in the over was over and my lovely "Feta cheese Chicken thing" was ready to eat...Oooooaaaaaahhhhhh, Ellen cries from the other room...
*Sigh* Hey ho.....there goes my dinner!!!

Talking about crying babies!...gotta go!!!