Tears on my pillow

God, talk about rollercoaster.

I am just a mess at the moment, crying at the slightest little thing. Pregnancy hormones are not to mess with.

I feel like I am schizophrenic as I am looking at myself as if I am a total stranger.
For example, I am so fussy with my food its unbelievable. And it annoys the hell out of the "real me".
I have gone off tea completely and I am pissed off with myself for being so ridiculous as again, the "real me" is dying for a cuppa.

So the other day I asked Steve if he fancied a cup of tea. He said yes.
I heard myself say: I am going to have a cup too!
Then the "real me" says out loud: My god, I think I am going to have tea today!
As if the "pregnant me" has decided what I am allowed to have. Stupid.

The "real me" knows it is completely normal to feel tearful and low during pregnancy, whereas the "pregnant me" has no clue. She worries about everything and anything, labour - her being tired - her feeling sick - her letting people down - her being a bad mum - her being a lazy mum - the list could go on for ages...

And its hard work living so closely together with a complete nut-case (ie Pregnant-Me) Sharing a bed with her, Bloody having to get up in the morning with her and Having dinner with her. She's a fuck-head.

So, the tears are rolling and I am feeling low, but inside all of this the real me is still here and waiting for my turn to return to the front row again....