Why I am a bad mum

Why I am a BAD MUM?

1. While feeding Ellen I managed to splat a grape-sized blob of "Peach & Banana pure" on her left eye. (Luckily she managed to shut her eye and just sat there wondering why she'd gone blind on one eye!) BAD MUM!
2. I was holding Ellen under her arms and was knealing down to reach into a cupboard to grab myself a Diet Coke, when I felt myself losing my balance and as controlled as a fall can be, I fell backwards like a Pilates roll with Ellen hanging vertically still in the same position as before I started to fall. So there I was, on my back, holding this baby straight up in the air... BAD MUM!
3. I propped her up as usual on the sofa with pillows all around her, looked away for 1 second to grab my cup of tea, and in the corner of my eye I see the back of her head dangerously near the edge of the sofa...I manage to catch the back of her sweater and pulled her back up before she swan-dived off the sofa head first...BAD MUM!
4. Because I drink red wine 3 nights a week?? BAD MUM? Alcoholic mum?
5. Because we jokingly talked about putting the baby monitor on in her room and bringing the parent unit of the baby monitor to the pub next door, haha, to see if we could still hear her?! Now, even thinking that is BAD!!! (Of course, for any of you who think we would, no chance!!! I simply smuggle her into the pub in my gym-bag and she lies under the table while we drink ourselves stupid!!! ;) )

Why I am a GOOD MUM?
1. Because I manage to get up at any time of the day or night to look after my Angel
2. Because I am healthy, fit and hysterically funny! Of course!
3. I can sing "One man went to mow" really really fast
4. Because I can change nappies in the dark
5. Because I can do almost anything with only one hand nowadays
6. Because I love her to bits and would do anything for her